Home To You
by privatepractxce
Summary: A Captain Swan High School Au. Emma Swan is a trouble making and promiscuous teenager living in a foster home, all she needs in the world is the support of her best friend Ruby, and occasionally a good make-out session with Graham in the stairwell. However; things get complicated when she meets a boy with more than his fair share of secrets and a past that has scarred him for life.
1. Chapter 1

_Just a note that this story contains a general trigger warning, please proceed with caution!_

 _Enjoy,_

 _Sophie xx_

* * *

Lopsided on the faded white wall, just above the blackboard, sits a standard looking clock. It's white border and red hands make a face if you squint hard enough and usually Emma stares at it with her head tilted to the side, in an attempt to amuse herself. However; today it seems to be taunting her as it ticks agonisingly slowly - the clicking sound it makes only adding to the infuriatingly clear fact this class is never going to end. Subconsciously she begins to tap her pencil against the desk in time to the clock, her beach blonde ponytail swaying behind her as her head gently rocks to the non-existent beat. Gradually the noise of the world around her fades to a background hum, and her mind entirely focuses on counting down the minutes until the shrill ring of the bell signals that freedom awaits.

Suddenly Emma is pulled from her headspace by an ear-piercingly shrill sound… unfortunately it's not coming from the source she was hoping for – instead, the glare of her thin faced teacher greets her, as she shakes her head trying to bring herself back to her senses and figure out who is screeching her name. Emma rolls her eyes as she realises Miss Nardone is reprimanding her for something, _again_. Yesterday it was the leather jacket that Nard claimed broke the college dress code, the day before it was for being caught skipping class to make-out with Graham in the stairwell, and no doubt today it will be to do with her choice of bright red lipstick.

"For goodness sakes Miss Swan does this look like a nightclub to you?" Miss Nardone drones on, "I've told you once about the jacket _and_ I'm writing you up for having the audacity to come into my class wearing a crop top and heels. We don't even have time to discuss what drove you, when you got up this morning, to don ripped jeans in the middle of winter!"

Emma rolls her eyes pointedly and attempts to go back to staring at the clock but Nard isn't done with her yet. Nope. Now she's striding over to her desk, "For fucks sake" Emma curses under her breath, folding her arms and tilting back on her chair.

"EXCUSE ME?" Nard barks, now stood directly in front of Emma's desk.

Entirely pissed off that Miss Nardone managed to hear her curse and that she's just generally being a bitch, Emma tilts her head to the side and flashes the sickliest sweet smile she can conjure, whilst raising her eyebrows. "OUT NOW" Nard screams, her face turning bright red as she stretches her bony finger out to point towards the door.

"Alright then." Emma shrugs and kicks her desk forward to stand up, before slinging her backpack over her shoulder. The brass swan pin, haphazardly poked through the left shoulder strap, catching the light as she does. Her desk is right at the front of the room, where most teachers prefer her to sit, so she's out and into the empty corridor in less than three steps – forcefully slamming the classroom door behind her, for effect, and letting the rattle echo through the building. _At least Nard didn't get around to moaning about the lipstick_ , she thinks - stalking off down the hallway, desperately looking for something entertaining to do until lunch. If it was up to her she'd just get in her bug and drive off, but she promised Ruby they could go for a ride at the end of the day and if Emma ditches her she'll be pissed.

Reluctantly Emma continues wandering the corridors, occasionally, and half-heartedly, kicking a locker or two for good measure on her way past. Everyone always led her to believe senior year would be the best year of her life, but she's tired of this place, and these people, and all she wants to do is get out of here and forget any of it ever happened.

As she can't physically leave campus she settles on the next best thing, turning left down a small offshoot of the corridor and carefully prising open the rusted fire door that waits for her at the end, it wasn't until the second half of her freshman year that she realised the door actually opened. She'd always figured it was bolted shut, until one day she'd been royally pissed off and kicked it wide open in a momentary lapse of judgement. She seems to get those a lot nowadays. It turned out to be a happy accident in the end anyway, because now she had a way of slipping out the building when she had a sudden craving and didn't feel like attempting to blow smoke out the bathroom window without getting caught.

As usual the cool breeze of fresh air is refreshing compared to the stuffy and confined classrooms, and Emma breathes in deeply as she pulls a cigarette from her back pocket to light up. She drops her rucksack onto the floor besides her and leans back against the wall, one knee bent. Her entire life she's been told that smoking kills but at this point she just wants to shout back and ask what there is to live for.

Day in day out she drags her sorry ass into the bleak four walls that every student in this pathetic town calls home for the entirety of their high school career. It's depressing, and the only things that make it mildly bearable are Ruby's sarcastic comments, and being slammed against a wall by Graham once in a while so that they can shove their tongues down each other's throats - although thinking about it, she even does that on autopilot now, and neither of them really give a shit about each other. Graham's an alright guy, but really they're just two teenagers in close proximity to one another who occasionally need release from the monotony of adolescence. She pushes the thought to the dark volt at the back of her mind, where she stores all her other crap, and instead focuses on the bitter taste of the cigarette smoke curling its way through her insides and wrapping her in an empty blanket of security.

After a few minutes the cool breeze turns to a bitter chill and the cigarette clutched between her fingers has become more ash on the ground than substance, but Emma is reluctant to stub it out, knowing it will symbolise the end of this brief period of relief – so she stays and lingers. Until the cold begins to bite through to her bones. Begrudgingly she drops the cigarette to the floor, stubs it out with the toe of her heel and picks up her rucksack, before turning to go back inside, forcing the door open and letting it drop with a loud bang behind her.

The bell is about to ring, so the low hum of chatter in the distance floats down the hallway, towards Emma as she heads to her locker. Confidently she walks straight at the oncoming crowd of bodies mingling and merging as they filter out of their classrooms - they disperse in a well-rehearsed manner when they reach her, sidestepping to avoid getting in her path. Her reputation preceding her as always. When she reaches her locker she is greeted by the only girl in school who gets more dress code write-ups than she does – Miss Ruby Lucas. "Hey Ruby, we still on for that drive later?" Emma asks fiddling with the combination lock.

"Of course." Ruby says, before blowing her pink bubble gum in a perfectly round circle and then letting it deflate. Her finger traces similar circles on the faded blue locker she's leaning against and it takes Emma a split second to notice that today Ruby is wearing even less clothes than usual. A white tight fitting blouse, probably from their middle school days, is tied in a bow at her waist to make it into a crop top – showing off the tan skin of her flat stomach, and the red mini skirt she has paired with it is short, even for her. It matches the streak of red in her dark hair though, and the extremely uncomfortable looking stilettos she insists on wearing everywhere.

"Okay." Emma nods slowly, rummaging in her locker for the apple and cinnamon mouth spray that helps her avoid being pulled over by any nosy members of faculty in the building - who decide that whether she's been near a cigarette is more important than actually doing their jobs. She finds the spray hiding under a pile of old books and quickly spritzes some into her mouth before throwing it back in and flipping the locker shut. "So, who are you all dressed up for?" She asks Ruby, spinning round to lean on her own locker so she is facing her.

Ruby tilts her head and smirks, leaning in and beckoning Emma to do the same - who rolls her eyes but follows her friend's instructions all the same. "Well…" Ruby starts, whispering as quietly as she can - despite the fact there's a cacophony of sound cocooning them from the passers by talking about the latest instalment in their own love lives. "There's this new chemistry tutor that I've got my eye on." She flicks her hair off her shoulder and throws her head back in laughter when she sees Emma's disapproving stare.

"Please tell me you're joking." Emma says, not even bothering to lower her voice to a whisper. Ruby just continues to grin back at her.

"His names Dr Whale… he's a _doctor_ Emma." Now she's clutching her hand over her heart and looking up to the ceiling – being deliberately dramatic just to rile Emma up.

"You could have your pick of anyone and you choose an old and crusty member of staff?" Emma points out, sighing when Ruby says nothing. She takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what runs through the girl's brain when she comes up with these ridiculous, and always highly inappropriate, crushes.

After a moment, Ruby breaks the lingering silence - twirling a strand of chestnut brown hair round her little finger. "You could also have anyone you wanted and yet you still seem to insist on sucking face with Graham of all people."

Emma half-heartedly glares at her, wanting desperately to have the urge to defend him and their relationship (of sorts) but she finds herself surprisingly apathetic about the whole situation, and then when she finally finds the energy to open her mouth - in an attempt to utter something, anything to make it seem like she cares, Ruby interrupts. Her perfectly manicured hand is reaching behind Emma's head to the locker she's leaning on. "Speaking of Graham." She says, plucking a post-it note, neither of them had previously noticed, from the front of it, "I'm going to assume this is from him."

As she's pulling it back Emma grabs the bright yellow note from Ruby's hand, narrowly avoiding being scratched by a sharp red nail in the process. It simply reads; ' _Usual Spot 12:30'_ in scrawled handwriting. Both girls know exactly what that means. "Are you going?" Ruby asks, deliberately licking her lips and feigning innocence with wide eyes and a cheeky smile. Emma playfully slaps her on the shoulder.

"Of course I'm going." Emma adjusts the backpack on her shoulders and stands up straight, pulling her hair out of her ponytail in the process and letting the blonde waves fall around her shoulders. Ruby reaches for a strand and lightly pulls it forward so it frames Emma's face, "What have you got now?" Emma asks.

"Chemistry" Ruby replies, her eyes lighting up with a mischievous sparkle. She pushes off the locker and adjusts her mini skirt. "Have fun with Graham." She says starting to walk off, "Oh and try not to get caught by Nard this time!" she adds, turning back to laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

When Emma reaches the stairwell, Graham is already there to greet her, leaning against the wall. His faded blue jeans and dark brown jacket are barely visible in the shadows, but still her heart starts to involuntarily beat faster and she knows her cheeks are reddening. It's okay though because they're hidden here. _She is hidden here_. In the dark she feels safe, and she knows Graham does as well, otherwise they would just find the back of a car like everyone else.

There's a comforting buzz of electricity as she leans in to kiss him, some of its him but she knows deep down most of it's the danger. The thrill of knowing she's breaking the rules. There's nothing slow about it, it's rough and desperate. At first, when Emma wasn't used to their brief encounters, she found it overwhelming and had to fight off her body's natural reflexes to run, despite the fact Graham had only ever been clear and fair about their arrangement. Now though, it feels natural, and Emma's used to the intense atmosphere.

Graham deepens the kiss, grabbing a handful of her hair in the process - she pushes him up against the wall further, her entire body now on fire, desperately needing him. A fog has descended on her mind, all coherent thought lost in the taste of his lips. Suddenly he pulls away, Emma groans at the loss of contact. "Are you alright?" Graham asks. Emma rolls her eyes and nods quickly, knowing the question is more of a formality than any actual genuine concern. The fog is fading and her senses are rapidly reappearing. With a clear sense of urgency, she shrugs the backpack she is carrying off her shoulders and onto the floor, which is all Graham needs to pull her closer once again and resume kissing her. One hand reaches for the back of her hair, whilst the other grips the lapel of her jacket – he holds her not too tightly, but with enough force that her body is flush against his. The heat radiating from his body hits Emma in waves and she wishes she would have the same natural response but the initial buzz has worn off, instead she finds her mind wandering into the same apathetic territory she was fighting off when talking to Ruby earlier. Apathy is a feeling that has been all too common in her life, usually she is the one on the receiving end of it. Once Emma tried to reach out to her birth mother but the apathy she received in response was enough to make her twelve-year-old self break down into tears, so she never rang up again. Although the eleven-digit number is still engrained in her brain, scorched in the pink matter, almost as though her own mind is desperate to torture her.

For a second she floats away again, her mind detaching itself from her body and floating upwards as though she is looking down at herself and Graham fumbling in the stairwell. A sharp pinch brings her back down as his hand snakes round and undoes her bra clasp, it pings against her skin, the sharp pain a reminder of the reality she's stuck in. Graham's mouth is now trailing a line down her neck so she half-heartedly tilts her head to the side as a gesture that she's actually enjoying it, although she still feels nothing.

Her gaze falls on the small window pane that sits in the centre of the door she came through, more specifically, the dark outline of someone stood on the other side of it. Emma can't make out whose side profile it is in the dim light, but their presence sends a shiver down her spine, and she takes a deep intake of breath. The mysterious figure turns their head, two piercing blue eyes meet hers. The millisecond of eye contact is all she needs to hurriedly push Graham's body away from her, he stumbles slightly. Hitting his head against the wall as he does "What the fuck Emma!" he shouts. Barely paying attention she's frantically grabbing her things off the floor.

"I'm sorry." She shouts over her shoulder, careering through the door and into the corridor. As the door slams behind her, she whips her head round – looking for any sign of the mysterious figure, but the hallway is deserted apart from a gaggle of girls at one end.

At the end of the day Emma makes her way out to the parking lot, where Ruby is leant against her car. "That stiletto better not leave a scratch" Emma shouts as she gets closer, her hair now back in the ponytail she started the day with, swaying behind her in the breeze. Ruby smirks in response and pulls out a stick of bubble-gum, holding one out to Emma who shakes her head as she comes to a standstill in-front of her, shrugging Ruby places it in her own mouth. Emma notices the subtle irony of the perfectly presented Ruby balanced against the rusty old yellow bug that it took three Summers to save up for, she's glad she did though because it's served her well ever since – even if it does tend to break down in awkward places, it usually gets her and Ruby wherever they want to go.

"Have you got a destination in mind?" Emma asks, walking round to the driver's side and tugging the door with a reasonable amount of force, nearly stumbling backwards when it opens with slightly more ease than usual. She slings her backpack off her shoulder and throws it onto the back seat which is visibly worn from use, many a milkshake having left its mark. The middle seat has a dark red X stained on it where, for some unknown reason, Ruby once decided to test Emma's lipstick. The bag lands with a thud as Ruby slides into the passenger seat, somehow making her entrance look graceful despite her impossibly long legs, and the stilettos.

"Lets just see where the road takes us!" Ruby says, turning to Emma and blowing her bubble-gum. Emma nods, starting the car and carefully pulling out of the parking lot – nearly running over a few unsuspecting students in the process. The gentle hum of the engine as they head down residential streets makes the silence a comfortable one, most days this is how the drives start – Ruby's head resting against the passenger window as she quietly hums along to the tune of the engine and Emma letting her mind drift off to no-man's land as she drives on auto-pilot. After a short while Emma breaks the silence, momentarily turning to look at Ruby.

"Anything to tell me about then?" Ruby shifts so she is sitting cross-legged on the seat and twirls a piece of her hair in her finger. She takes a deep breath and stretches her arms out in front of her towards the vast expanse of road beyond the windshield.

"Well…" she starts. "The doctor, Whale, I was telling you about. He is definitely into me." Emma, now concentrating on the road again, shakes her head in disapproval and opens her mouth to shut Ruby's ridiculous fantasy down but undeterred, Ruby ploughs on. "I've got a plan to get him." Emma has seen Ruby harbour ridiculous crushes before but this time her eyes have a sparkle in them that Emma's never seen before, and the way she is almost jumping up and down in her seat like an excited toddler only adds to Emma's feeling of unease surrounding the situation. Her concern is so great she fades out as Ruby babbles about her master plan and only realises she hasn't been paying attention when Ruby lightly swats her on the shoulder. "He was checking me out in class today." Her smile widens, any further and Emma thinks she'll be scraping bubble-gum off the carpet.

"That's not flattering Ruby, it's creepy" Emma points out. "I love you, you deserve someone that isn't just going to use you and throw you away." Ruby's giddy smile quickly fades and she averts her gaze from Emma's, choosing to stare at the fields they are now passing.

"I really like him Em, he wouldn't do that. He's a good person, I can feel it." Ruby's voice is now quiet and mouse like, which throws Emma off. It's a world away from the loud and boisterous Ruby she is used to. Discreetly she discards of the bubble-gum she was blowing and reaches over to the centre console, taking a cigarette from Emma's packet and twiddling it in her fingers until Emma sighs and fishes the lighter out her pocket, handing it over. They both know Ruby doesn't actually smoke but despite this she cracks the window and lights up, slowly inhaling – the way she's seen Emma do a thousand times before. As soon as she does, the bitter smoke invades her lungs, clawing at her insides as though it is burning her alive, it's not pleasant but it eases her mind for a few minutes and she almost understands why Emma might feel the need to feel the sensation regularly. "What's up with you and Graham?" Ruby asks, throwing Emma off with the abrupt timing. Momentarily she considers lying but she knows if there's anyone she can admit the harsh truth to, it's Ruby. "You did see him earlier, right?"

"Yes." She replies, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Ruby has now shifted so that she is facing Emma, although she is still sitting cross legged. Her stiletto heels are practically piercing the leather seat, and the sooty cigarette ash gathers in a depressing heap in the foot well beside her.

"How was it? You don't seem very enthusiastic." Ruby prompts. Emma slams her foot on the accelerator, powering the car forward at an almost dangerous pace and practically throwing Ruby towards the windscreen in the process. "HEY!" Ruby screeches, balancing herself with her free hand. Emma rubs her forehead, apologising. "What's going on?" Ruby prompts once more.

The car continues at a steady but fast pace as Emma formulates her reply, "I don't know, it's just… I don't feel anything." Now her hands are shaking, and her knuckles have turned white from the force with which she's gripping the steering wheel. "With Graham, I mean. I just don't feel anything anymore. It's like I'm present but I'm not, at the same time. I can't explain it. He's great but I feel empty when I'm with him." Somehow just releasing the words into the atmosphere help Emma feel as though a crushing weight has been lifted from her chest. Ruby ponders over the information, taking one last drag of the cigarette before stubbing it out on the dashboard, Emma watches her out of the corner of her eye and raises her eyebrows when she sees the cigarette crumple against the interior of her car. If anyone else had done that she'd be screaming at them but Ruby's her person and that means she pretty much gets a free pass to do whatever she wants. Especially as Emma knows that she never does anything with the intention of being deliberately cruel.

"I know it's complicated but if you have that much apathy towards him you should just end things with him." Ruby says, once again twiddling with a strand of her hair. Emma bites her lip, almost violently swerving round the upcoming corner. Ruby knows exactly what the hesitation means. "Emma… why bother if you don't care. People lose interest in other people all the time, unfortunately it's just a thing that happens. You're allowed to stop sleeping with him if you're no longer interested." Emma contemplates Ruby's input, this time she's the one with the voice that comes out as a mouse whisper.

"I can't." She rakes a hand through her tightly pulled back hair and gently leans back against the headrest, slowing the car down as she does.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again Emma finds herself staring at the clock on the wall, desperately willing time to pass faster. Her legs are draped over the faded brown desk Nardone assigned her at the beginning of the year, showcasing the black ripped jeans she'd deliberately worn again. Knowing full well they're a dress code violation. It feels as though her life is on repeat and she's just moving through the motions – day in, day out she shows up to Nards class and spends the entire time thinking about all the places she'd love to drive away to. The one she thinks about most is Maine, where she imagines there's a small town filled with friendly faces and people waving to one another across the street on their way to work. In the Summer, she likes to think the sound of children's laughter would echo as they pretended to be princes and princess – play fighting at the local park, whilst in the Fall the sickly-sweet smell of cinnamon and freshly baked apples would waft through the air. Drifting out the doors of the local diner and carrying till the whole town could smell it. In Winter, she conjures up images of warm fires and cocoa, soothing and safe. But alas, these are just the fantasies of a life she knows she can never have. Her birth Mother probably doesn't even live in Maine, Emma just has a faint memory of being there at some point when she was younger, 'now look where I've ended up' she thinks, rocking back on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs the school have owned since the prehistoric age.

Suddenly two hands grip the back of the chair and almost send her hurtling towards the floor as they slam it down with a thud. She only just manages to swiftly slide her legs off the desk before they get trapped between it and the plastic. "We do not rock on our chairs." Nard sneers, striding past Emma – towards the front of the room, wiping her hands on her blouse as she does. As though just touching Emma's chair could've contaminated her with a deadly disease. "It's dangerous." She adds. Emma rolls her eyes, imagining Nard trying to refrain from smiling if Emma were to knock herself out by falling off her chair, her wrinkly skin pulled taught around her sharp cheek bones. "And where is your book this morning Miss Swan?" the old cow asks. Emma shrugs and messes with the lighter in her pocket, tempted to announce that she set the stupid textbook on fire and watched the damn thing burn, she'd love to see the colour drain out of Nards face then. It would also probably get her sent out and give her a chance to get in the bug and drive off.

'Fuck it' she thinks, 'I'll say it'. But just as she's about to speak somebody quite deliberately clears their throat behind her. In a flash Emma's swung round to glare at them, wondering what they could possibly need, but all she finds is a textbook held out to her. "You can borrow my spare copy." The low, modulated voice says. Her first instinct is to turn back to her own desk and ignore the offer, but before she does she takes a proper look at the face and body attached to the hands. The person addressing her is dressed in a well fitted, long sleeved, white shirt and she can see the black jeans leading down to his lumberjack boots. His hand shakes slightly as he holds out the book to her and the smile above his well chiselled chin is small and reserved, the look he is giving her is not one of pity but more one of understanding. Despite the fact he can only be eighteen, there's something about him that suggests he's lived enough for a lifetime, Emma thinks it might be the slight tilt of his head and the way he lightly scratches the side of his forehead with his free hand. Features that don't make him look old but reflect an aged mind. There's a familiarity that seems to radiate from him but Emma can't quite place him, she looks at him for a second longer trying to work out what she's missed. His brown hair is swept over to one side at the front, it's tousled and messy – but in an endearing way. His eyes are a deep blue that seem to reflect the sunlight, she can imagine getting lost in them. They captivate Emma and she feels a strong pull to him but she cannot work out why.

The boy clears his throat once again and momentarily looks down, his hand now trembling in a slightly more noticeable way. That's when it hits her, the piercing blue eyes looking at her like a rabbit caught in the headlights are the same eyes she met in a single glance through the window in the door. This is the boy who disappeared down the corridor before she could catch him. Suddenly Emma feels uneasy, she grabs the book and narrows her eyes at him before spinning back round. Not even bothering to utter a single word to him. A shiver travels down her spine and she spends the rest of class trying to hide how flustered she feels.

After school Emma speeds all the way to Graham's house on autopilot, she parks outside his front lawn and strides up to the door, opening it without bothering to knock. She knows his parents are out of town and he never bothers to lock up during the day. The worn, dark green duffle she keeps in the trunk of her car is slung over her shoulder so she hangs it on the pristine white bannister. She often spends the night at Ruby's or Graham's so she keeps it permanently packed with a toothbrush and spare change of clothes. As always she slips her shoes off as well and quickly sends a text to her foster Mother to let her know she'll be out for the night, before tossing the cell phone into the duffle and heading upstairs.

Graham's room is at the end of the hallway so she can see him lying on his bed through the crack in the door, it creaks lightly as she pushes it open. "Hey." He says when he notices her leaning in the doorway. "You staying the night?" She nods and he smiles, getting up to walk towards her. Gently he grabs her by the waist - pulling her towards him and kissing her. Immediately she discards her jacket and top as they make their way towards the bed, trying to find a way to forget about the strange feeling she'd been experiencing ever since the boy from the stairwell offered her his book. Graham kisses her neck as she pulls her hair out of the elastic and lets it cascade down her back, then he moves to her collarbone and she spins them round so that she can fall back onto the bed, pulling him on top of her. Taking the hint, he discards his own shirt and continues peppering her collarbone with hot open-mouthed kisses, trailing down to her bra and lightly licking her left nipple through the fabric, causing her hips to involuntarily buck ever so slightly. Impatiently she reaches round and unclasps the bra herself, shucking it off and throwing it across the room. Graham continues to work on her now exposed breasts with his tongue, as his hands move up and down her sides. Emma manages to snake her hands in-between their bodies and makes light work of undoing his belt and jeans so with a little shuffle he can slide them off. Momentarily there's a pause once his jeans are off and they look at each other, she reaches up and slides a hand down his cheek, but snatches it back when her mind morphs the light blue eyes staring back at her, into the deep blue ones she's trying to forget.

With the still moment over, Graham leans down to kiss her so she closes her eyes and tries to clear her mind of everything. Wanting to see darkness and nothing else. He grinds the straining bulge in his boxers against her core through her jeans, his arousal evident. Then breaking the kiss he asks if she's going to take her jeans off, she nods and he climbs off her so she can quickly stand up and undo them before pulling them down and letting them pool at her feet. Looking down at them she freezes for a moment, her mind racing at an incredible pace, replaying all the events from the last couple of days. Reminding her of the gaze through the window and the car conversations with Ruby, each snippet a piercing stab to the chest. Winding her. "Are you okay?" Graham asks, snapping her back to reality, she realises she's still stood facing away from him, wearing nothing but her black lace thong, her jeans pooled at her feet. She doesn't answer for a second. Is this really what she wants? To be with Graham, physically? Over and over? He slowly walks up behind her and tenderly wraps his arms around her waist. "Emma." He says, softly licking her earlobe.

She steps out of his embrace and turns to face him. "Can I just take a nap for a while?" She asks, even though it's mid-afternoon. "It's just hit me how exhausted I am." The lie rolls off her tongue, despite her wishing it didn't. She doesn't want to string Graham along, but she's overwhelmed and desperately trying to push her feelings down - because she doesn't think it's fair that she's suddenly lost all interest in him other than the physical attraction. For a split-second his facial expression is one of disappointment but he quickly regains composure and smiles sweetly. Almost enough to make Emma want to gag.

"Of course." He says, moving back over to the bed and tidying it up. That's something she has to give him points for – the understanding. It's the reason so many girls at school haven't minded being his one night stands in the past, although in public he may only offer a fleeting glance or casual wave, when you are one on one it's clear how much he cares. He cares even if there isn't sex involved and that's why Emma was drawn to him in the first place. Graham was never bothered by her lack of emotional involvement, he didn't mind that she couldn't break down her walls and let him in – he still cared for her, regardless, and he never abandoned her. Now though, as Emma carefully slides her jeans back on and Graham leaves to shower, she realises she wants to be able to give as much as she receives - and with so little emotional attachment on her part it's not going to be possible with Graham.

With the gentle hum of water flowing in the background she wanders downstairs to retrieve her phone from her duffle and takes it back to his room with her before lying down on his double bed. She realises they've never really declared sides, as usually it's a case of passing out in a state of post-sex bliss, and picking sides is more the kind of thing people in committed emotional relationships do. Which is certainly not how she'd sum their dynamic up. Still it makes her slightly uncomfortable so she keeps switching until eventually she ends up on the right-hand side and just hopes Graham doesn't care either way. Then she sends Ruby a text. ' _Need to clear my mind, u free to skip class 2morrow?_ ' Ruby normally responds within a few minutes so Emma lies back and stares at the ceiling, closing her eyes.

When a loud ping jolts her awake it occurs to Emma that she must have fallen asleep. Her head feels groggy and her eyelids heavy, when she reaches for her phone she finds a body next to her. The rhythmic breathing and steady movement of his chest letting her know that Graham is fast asleep. After a few seconds she realises the light has faded and that somehow her quick nap lasted through mid-afternoon and into late evening. Her phone pings again reminding her to check it, she fumbles for a second before she finds it just under Graham's back – carefully she prises it from underneath him and unlocks it to find a message from Ruby. _'Sorry was out earlier. Cant really skip 2morrow I need 2 keep seducing Whale. Unless urgent?'_ Emma sighs and rolls her eyes, still feeling that it's inappropriate for Ruby to chase Dr Whale, but having already expressed her concerns she's not sure what else she can do. Her desperate need to escape bubbles up to the surface once again so without a second thought she climbs out of bed and shoves her cell phone in her back pocket. She feels around in the dark until she finds her shirt, throwing it quickly over her head when she does – not bothering to find the discarded bra. Then in less than a minute she's out the door with her duffle bag on her shoulder and her shoes haphazardly slipped on.

The bug groans when she turns the key in the ignition but still starts up as always, allowing Emma to gently accelerate as she glides down the street away from her life. She glances at the duffle lying on the seat next to her, resisting the urge to glance back at Graham's house.


	4. Chapter 4

Daylight is filtering through the trees waving gently in the breeze, illuminating spots on the road by the time Emma turns the bug around and heads back towards the uninviting streets that remind her of the life she so longs to leave behind. It had been tempting to keep driving last night, foot to pedal and back to leather straight into the vast expanse of darkness without looking over her shoulder, but the omnipresent invisible tether caused her to return. She kept telling herself it was Ruby she couldn't leave behind - which was partially true, but deep down she knew it also had something to do with a certain pair of captivating blue eyes.

She careers into the school parking lot, just as the bell rings – signalling registration. Screeching to a halt, her faded yellow bug comes to a stop smack bang in the middle of two spaces, unbothered, she hops out; remembering to grab her duffle from the passenger seat and a pack of half-empty cigarettes off the dashboard just before she throws the door shut. With the confidence of someone who isn't wearing the same wrinkled clothes as the day before, she strides into the building - the long white corridors are empty, bar a few nervous looking students rushing to get to homeroom on time, juxtaposing Emma's clear lack of urgency as she moves smoothly and surely along, as though she hasn't got a care in the world. Her plan is to get changed in the bathroom and then get marked in at homeroom so she can leave without her foster Mother getting a truancy call.

Just as she's rounding the corner to get to the bathroom she looks up, narrowly avoiding a collision with a tall bony figure dressed in black, she was desperately hoping to avoid. "Isn't your homeroom the other way Miss Swan?" Nardone points out, her cold piercing eyes burning holes in Emma's skull. She shrugs and attempts to cut the encounter short by sidestepping and walking off but Nard is quicker than she looks and manages to block her path. 'Fuck', Emma thinks as Nardone hold out her arm and moves her hand in a circular motion, indicating that she should turn around and go the other way. Unwilling to budge, Emma explains in a monotone voice that she needs to use the bathroom, but apparently Nard couldn't care less, simply staring straight through her. After a beat Emma sighs and rolls her eyes, turning on her heels in a dramatic fashion and stomping off down the corridor, Nard's breath is a constant annoyance as she follows her right up to her homeroom door. Throwing a glare over her shoulder Emma walks in and slams her duffel down next to the closest chair, her tutor shoots her a glance across the room but doesn't say anything as he marks her down as late.

The minute homeroom is over Emma grabs her duffel and stalks out the room, weaving with careful precision through the path that clears for her in the busy corridor. She kicks open the bathroom door to find gaggles of girls crowded round the mirrors, applying mounds of lipstick, their laughter stops momentarily when they see her but they soon regain composure and go back to their chatter about a wild party the night before. She makes eye contact with a few of them in their reflections as she lazily pushes on each dirty stall door, to no avail – every single green piece of metal is locked shut and she's not about to get changed in the middle of the bathroom with the number of phones in hands. Pissed off she kicks the door back open and exits - the other nearest bathroom is across the block, and now she's craving a cigarette, so instead of trekking over there she decides to nip across to her favourite fire door a few corridors over.

When she gets there the door is ajar, which is unusual. She pushes it open slowly and pokes her head round, expecting to find Nard or some other member of staff inspecting the area – discovering her old discarded cigarette butts and preparing to have the caretakers block off the door once and for all. Instead she finds someone sat with their back to the wall, hurriedly zipping their bag shut. "Hey." She says, closing the door behind her and leaning against the other side of the wall. Without missing a beat, she lights up a cigarette and takes a long, soothing drag. Inhaling the bitter smoke and letting her mind wander. After a minute, the figure a few feet away from her stands up and looks over, smiling awkwardly.

She almost chokes on her cigarette smoke when she realises who it is. Deep blue eyes glance at her before looking back at the ground and he scratches his sleeve nervously. "I didn't know you were a smoker." She says to him, staring straight ahead into the distance. He says nothing but out of her peripheral vision she sees him shrug and scratch the side of his head. "I didn't peg you for one that's all." She adds. Still he says nothing, simply hopping awkwardly from foot to foot. Emma debates it but decides to hold out her pack to him, indicating that he can have one. When he doesn't move she exaggerates the movement. "Do you want another?" He stares at her, an almost bewildered look on his face but steps towards her and takes one.

"Sure." He smiles, appearing to relax. "Do you have a light? Mines…" He gestures to his rucksack. Emma holds out hers, and watches as he struggles to light up - his hands shaking. She tries to place him, racking her brain to see if she can picture him anywhere before he showed up outside the stairwell, but his familiarity must just be general because she can't. Finally, he manages to light up, tossing the lighter back to her and inhaling timidly before letting his arm fall to his side – the sleeve of his flannel shirt bunching slightly before he tugs it back down over his hand. Part of Emma wants to ask him about that day, when they made eye contact - the strange connection she felt has been bugging her ever since, but it doesn't seem like the appropriate time. Instead she opts for casual small talk.

"So, who do you hang out with, I've never really seen you with anyone." She points out. Now he's the one who looks up and stares out into the distance.

"Uhh, well. Felix, Felix Holland." He says, adjusting the collar on his shirt. "You probably don't know him." Emma narrows her eyes, thinking hard.

"Wait, no." She says, pausing to take one last drag of cigarette before stubbing it out with her toe. "I think I do actually. He was in one of my classes Freshman year." Blue eyes nods, also dropping his cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his lumberjack boot, despite only having taken a few drags.

"I should be going, I've already missed first period." He says, scratching the side of his head. "Thanks for the smoke." He adds, struggling to prise open the heavy metal door - when he does manage, it swings open violently and he looks back at Emma, embarrassed, his cheeks flushed a dark shade of red. He takes a deep breath to try and hide it. "Are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?" He asks, a slight smirk forming. Emma tries to formulate a sarcastic response but he's walked off and left the door to swing shut behind him before she can. As the scent of smoke fades she realises she still doesn't know his name.

Unlike blue eyes, Emma has no intention of getting to any of her classes so she sits down and gets her phone out. The first notification to pop up is a message from Graham, sent at 10:05am. It simply reads ' _U cming over l8r? U left so early we didnt get a chance to finish what we'd started last night.'_ Her automatic reaction is to reply with ' _Sure'_ but she ignores it, and decides that she can't face seeing Graham today. _'Sorry cant.'_ She replies instead, hoping he doesn't ask too many questions. Throughout the morning the bells ring signalling classes, Emma wastes time rather than turning up for any of them – she sits outside for a while chain-smoking. Then she wanders the corridors, gets changed in the bathroom, and stops at her locker a few times to spritz her cinnamon and apple mouth-spray. At one point, she even ends up lying down in the bug, but for once she can't be bothered to drive away, still exhausted from the impromptu road trip the night before. Even inside the bug she hears the bell ring in succession three times, indicating that lunch period has begun. She hauls herself up and texts Ruby to let her know she'll meet her in the cafeteria.

It takes less than two minutes for her to find Ruby once she's inside, after all there aren't many other girls dressed in stilettos and tight fitting red dresses. The huge pink bubble she's blowing is also a dead giveaway. As soon as she sees Emma she waves enthusiastically and slides onto a bench at a spare table, in the corner of the room. "What have you been up to?" Emma asks as she sits down. She expects her friend to launch into a full-on loved up speech about Dr Whale and her master seduction plan, but instead she's pleasantly surprised. Ruby plays with her bubble-gum for a second before answering.

"I sent off my application to culinary school." She says, hesitantly, almost so quietly that Emma misses it.

"What!" Emma squeals. "Ruby, that's awesome!" She lunges over the dirty cafeteria table to embrace her for a couple of seconds, before letting go and regaining her usual stoic demeanour. Ruby breaks out in a huge smile and starts twiddling her hair round her finger.

"I wasn't sure whether to tell you or not because it's unlikely I'll get in but yeah…" She trails off. "In other news; I managed to bag an hour-long Chemistry tutoring session with Whale after school." She winks and Emma pretends to gag.

"Could we not have focussed on culinary school." Emma sighs. "I mean do I really have to warn you again that this thing with Dr Whale isn't a good idea. Besides you don't even like Chemsitry." Ruby smiles and continues twirling her hair whilst Emma glares at her sternly.

"I'm eighteen." Ruby points out with a glint in her eye. "It's up to me what I do." She pauses. "How's your love life anyway?" Emma shakes her head at the question.

"My love life is all we ever talk about." She protests.

"Well we can always talk about your home life if you prefer?" Ruby says, quirking an eyebrow and smirking - the question's laced with sarcasm and they both know it. Emma fiddles with the buttons on her jacket debating whether to tell Ruby about blue eyes and all the strange encounters they've had recently. She decides if there's one person she can confide in, it's Ruby. She launches into the anecdote about the first time she saw him on the other side of the glass, trying to gauge Ruby's reaction as she goes along. When she's finished Ruby laughs. "He's not a mysterious onlooker Em, he's a Peeping Tom."

"I don't think he was looking deliberately." Emma immediately shoots back. To anyone else it might sound stone cold, but Ruby senses that her friend is more on the defensive and lets it go.


End file.
